A child asks "can I use the art supplies?" A parent answers. Two ways to give freedom. "Feel free." "Do as you please." Both mean "you have my permission to choose." Both encourage independence.
But these phrases feel very different. One is warm and inviting. One is more open and hands-off. Children hear both. Understanding the difference helps children understand the kind of freedom they are receiving.
This article helps families explore these freedom-giving phrases. Your child will learn when adults say "feel free" and when they say "do as you please."
What Do These Expressions Mean?
"Feel free" means "you have my permission and I want you to act without hesitation." The phrase is warm and inviting. It says "do not hold back. You are welcome to do this."
For a child, think of this like a friend saying "feel free to grab a snack from the kitchen." They mean "you do not have to ask. Just help yourself."
"Do as you please" means "you may make your own choice without my direction or control." The phrase is more open and hands-off. It says "I trust you to decide what you want."
For a child, think of this like a parent saying "do as you please with your free time today." They mean "you choose what to do. I will not tell you."
These two expressions seem similar because both give freedom. Both say "you can choose." Both remove restrictions.
But one is warm and inviting. One is open and hands-off.
What's the Difference?
The main difference lies in the level of guidance. "Feel free" is warm and inviting within a suggested activity. "Do as you please" is completely open with no suggestion.
One is about permission to act. One is about complete freedom to choose.
"Feel free" sounds warm and welcoming. You invite someone to do something specific. "Feel free to sit anywhere." "Feel free to ask questions." The activity is suggested.
"Do as you please" sounds more open-ended. You give no suggestion. The person has total freedom. "Do as you please with your afternoon." "Do as you please with the toys."
Another difference involves boundaries. "Feel free" often comes with an implied boundary. "Feel free to play in the living room" (but not the bedroom). "Do as you please" has fewer boundaries.
Also, "feel free" is very common in polite conversation. "Do as you please" is less common and can sometimes sound like giving up control.
So remember: feel free = warm invitation to do a suggested activity. do as you please = complete freedom to choose any activity.
When Do We Use Each One?
Use "feel free" for warm, welcoming permission. Use it when a child is a guest. Use it when you want to remove shyness. Use it for specific activities you are offering.
For example, a child comes to your house. You say "feel free to play with any of the toys." You invite them warmly to a specific set of options.
Use "feel free" for classroom or group settings. "Feel free to ask questions anytime." "Feel free to work with a partner."
Use "do as you please" for open-ended free time. Use it when the child has no restrictions. Use it for personal time. Use it when you trust the child's choices completely.
For example, it is Saturday morning with no plans. You say "do as you please for the next hour. You can read, draw, or play." You give total freedom within a time frame.
Use "do as you please" when the child is in their own space. "Your room is your space. Do as you please in there."
Also use "do as you please" when the choice truly does not matter to you. "I do not care which shirt you wear. Do as you please."
Remember: warm invitation to a specific activity = "feel free." Complete open-ended freedom = "do as you please."
Example Sentences for Kids
Here are simple sentences for "feel free":
Feel free to borrow any of my books. I have already read them all.
(This warmly invites the child to choose from a specific collection.)
Feel free to ask for help if you get stuck on the puzzle.
(This gives warm permission to seek assistance.)
Feel free to sit anywhere you like at the table.
(This warmly invites choice within a specific setting.)
Here are simple sentences for "do as you please":
It is your birthday. Do as you please all day long.
(This gives complete freedom on a special day.)
We have no plans this afternoon. Do as you please until dinner.
(This gives open-ended freedom within a time frame.)
You earned your allowance. Do as you please with the money.
(This gives total freedom over a personal possession.)
Notice how "feel free" warmly invites action within a suggested area. "Do as you please" gives total freedom with no suggestion.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Many people say "do as you please" too often. This can feel like the adult does not care. A child asks "can I have a cookie?" You say "do as you please."
Incorrect: Child asks for a cookie. "Do as you please."
Correct: "Feel free to take one. I just baked them."
For small, specific requests, use the warm inviting phrase.
Another mistake: using "feel free" for total open-ended freedom. This can sound odd. "What should I do now?" "Feel free." The phrase needs an activity.
Incorrect: "What should I do?" "Feel free."
Correct: "Do as you please. You can figure out what sounds fun."
Total freedom needs the open-ended phrase.
A third mistake: forgetting that "do as you please" can sometimes sound like "I give up" if said with a tired voice. "Do as you please. I do not care anymore." That hurts a child's feelings.
Say "do as you please" with a warm, trusting voice. Add "I trust your choices" or "you know what is best for you." The warmth makes the freedom feel like love, not neglect.
Easy Memory Tips
Here is a fun trick for kids. Think of an open door and a wide-open field.
"Feel free" = an open door. Someone holds the door open. They smile. They say "feel free to come in." The open door invites you into a specific warm space.
"Do as you please" = a wide-open field. There are no fences. No paths. No signs. You can run anywhere. The field gives you total freedom.
Another memory tip: look at the words. "Feel free" has the word "free" like being free to enter. "Do as you please" has the word "please" like "whatever pleases you."
Draw a simple picture. Draw an open door with a welcome mat next to "feel free." Draw a wide open field with a child running freely next to "do as you please." The images help children feel the difference.
Also try this question: "Is there a suggested activity or is this total open-ended freedom?" If suggested activity, say "feel free." If total freedom, say "do as you please."
Quick Practice Time
Try these easy exercises with your child. Fill in the blank with "feel free" or "do as you please."
Your child is visiting a friend's house. The friend's mom says "________________ to play with any of the toys in this room."
It is Sunday afternoon with no plans. You say "You have one hour before dinner. ________________ with your time."
Your child asks "can I use your colored pencils?" You say "________________. They are in the drawer."
Your child asks "what should I do now?" You say "________________. It is your free time. You decide."
Answers:
Feel free (warm invitation to play with specific toys)
Do as you please (open-ended freedom within a time frame)
Feel free (specific permission to use a specific item)
Do as you please (total freedom to choose any activity)
Now practice using both phrases at home. When you want to warmly invite your child to do a specific activity, say "feel free" with an open smile. When you want to give total open-ended freedom, say "do as you please" with a trusting nod. Your child will learn the difference between a warm invitation and complete freedom.
Wrap-up
Use "feel free" as a warm, inviting way to give permission for a specific activity or choice. Use "do as you please" to give complete, open-ended freedom when no direction is needed. Both give freedom, but one opens a specific door while one opens a whole field.