Original Poem：
I was thinking of a son.
The womb is not a clock
nor a bell tolling,
but in the eleventh month of its life
I feel the November
of the body as well as of the calendar.
In two days it will be my birthday
and as always the earth is done with its harvest.
This time I hunt for death,
the night I lean toward,
the night I want.
Well then—
speak of it!
It was in the womb all along.
I was thinking of a son ...
You! The never acquired,
the never seeded or unfastened,
you of the genitals I feared,
the stalk and the puppy’s breath.
Will I give you my eyes or his?
Will you be the David or the Susan?
(Those two names I picked and listened for.)
Can you be the man your fathers are—
the leg muscles from Michelangelo,
hands from Yugoslavia
somewhere the peasant, Slavic and determined,
somewhere the survivor bulging with life—
and could it still be possible,
all this with Susan’s eyes?
All this without you—
two days gone in blood.
I myself will die without baptism,
a third daughter they didn’t bother.
My death will come on my name day.
What’s wrong with the name day?
It’s only an angel of the sun.
Woman,
weaving a web over your own,
a thin and tangled poison.
Scorpio,
bad spider—
die!
My death from the wrists,
two name tags,
blood worn like a corsage
to bloom
one on the left and one on the right—
It’s a warm room,
the place of the blood.
Leave the door open on its hinges!
Two days for your death
and two days until mine.
Love! That red disease—
year after year, David, you would make me wild!
David! Susan! David! David!
full and disheveled, hissing into the night,
never growing old,
waiting always for you on the porch ...
year after year,
my carrot, my cabbage,
I would have possessed you before all women,
calling your name,
calling you mine.</p>
Poem Explanation and Interpretation
This poignant poem explores the complex emotions surrounding pregnancy, loss, and the anticipation of life that never fully materializes. The speaker reflects on the idea of a son who was never born, using the metaphor of the womb not as a mechanical clock but as a living, emotional space marked by the passage of time and bodily experience. The eleventh month symbolizes a late stage of pregnancy, a moment heavy with expectation and fear.
The poem intertwines themes of birth and death, highlighting the fragile boundary between life and loss. The speaker contemplates the identity of the lost child—whether he would resemble the speaker or another figure, whether he would be strong like "David" or gentle like "Susan." These names symbolize potential futures and the deep longing for connection. The imagery of "blood," "death," and "name day" evokes both physical and spiritual dimensions of loss, while the repeated invocation of "David" and "Susan" underscores the speaker’s yearning and grief.
The poem also touches on themes of identity, gender, and heritage, referencing cultural and familial lineage ("hands from Yugoslavia," "Slavic and determined") and the tension between inherited traits and individual destiny. The speaker’s reflection on dying "without baptism" and being a "third daughter they didn’t bother" reveals feelings of neglect and invisibility, adding a layer of personal sorrow.
Finally, the poem ends with a powerful evocation of love as a "red disease," a force that is both wild and enduring, symbolized by the repeated calls to "David" and the image of waiting on the porch, a metaphor for hope and longing that persists despite loss.
Background and Author Introduction
This poem is a deeply personal and evocative work, often attributed to poets who explore themes of motherhood, loss, and identity. The author’s background likely includes experiences with pregnancy, grief, and cultural heritage, which inform the vivid imagery and emotional depth of the poem. Understanding the historical and cultural context of the author—such as their nationality, family history, and personal struggles—can provide further insight into the poem’s layered meanings.
The poem’s style reflects modernist and confessional poetry traditions, where personal experience is central to the poetic voice. The use of symbolic names, bodily imagery, and emotional intensity aligns with poets who write candidly about intimate and often painful subjects.
Reflections and Insights
Reading this poem invites us to reflect on the universal themes of hope, loss, and the human desire to connect with those who are absent or lost. It challenges us to consider how we deal with grief and the ways in which memory and imagination keep loved ones alive. The poem’s raw honesty and vivid metaphors make it a powerful meditation on the complexities of motherhood and identity.
Educational Value and Learning Points
Students and children can learn several important lessons from this poem:
- Emotional Expression: The poem teaches how poetry can be a medium for expressing complex emotions such as grief, longing, and hope.
- Imagery and Symbolism: It provides examples of how poets use imagery (like "womb," "blood," "name day") and symbolism (names, cultural references) to convey deeper meanings.
- Cultural and Familial Identity: The poem introduces the idea of heritage and how it shapes personal identity.
- Themes of Life and Death: It sensitively explores the cycle of life, the pain of loss, and the resilience of love.
- Creative Writing: Students can be encouraged to write their own poems reflecting on personal experiences or emotions.
Practical Applications in Life and Learning
- Emotional Literacy: Understanding and discussing this poem can help students develop empathy and emotional intelligence.
- Cultural Awareness: The references to heritage and identity can prompt discussions about family history and cultural diversity.
- Critical Thinking: Analyzing the poem’s metaphors and structure develops interpretive skills.
- Creative Expression: The poem can inspire creative projects, such as writing or art, to explore themes of family and loss.
Reading Comprehension Questions
- What is the main theme of the poem?
- How does the speaker describe the womb, and why is it significant?
- Who are "David" and "Susan" in the poem, and what do they represent?
- What emotions does the speaker express about the unborn child?
- How does the poem connect the ideas of birth and death?
- What cultural or familial references are mentioned, and why are they important?
- How does the poem portray the concept of love?
Answers
- The main theme is the anticipation and loss of a child, exploring grief, identity, and love.
- The womb is described not as a mechanical clock but as a living space marked by time and emotion, symbolizing the complexity of pregnancy and loss.
- "David" and "Susan" are symbolic names representing potential identities and futures for the unborn child.
- The speaker expresses fear, longing, sorrow, and hope regarding the unborn child.
- The poem links birth and death by showing how closely they coexist in the experience of pregnancy and loss.
- References to "hands from Yugoslavia" and "Slavic and determined" highlight cultural heritage and familial identity.
- Love is portrayed as a powerful, wild, and enduring force, described metaphorically as a "red disease."
This poem offers rich material for study, reflection, and emotional growth, making it valuable for educational settings focused on literature, personal development, and cultural understanding.
