For a few months I remained peaceably at home, in the quiet enjoyment of liberty and rest, and genuine friendship, from all of which I had fasted so long; and in the earnest prosecution of my studies, to recover what I had lost during my stay at Wellwood House, and to lay in new stores for future use. My father’s health was still very infirm, but not materially worse than when I last saw him; and I was glad I had it in my power to cheer him by my return, and to amuse him with singing his favourite songs.
No one triumphed over my failure, or said I had better have taken his or her advice, and quietly stayed at home. All were glad to have me back again, and lavished more kindness than ever upon me, to make up for the sufferings I had undergone; but not one would touch a shilling of what I had so cheerfully earned and so carefully saved, in the hope of sharing it with them. By dint of pinching here, and scraping there, our debts were already nearly paid. Mary had had good success with her drawings; but our father had insisted upon HER likewise keeping all the produce of her industry to herself. All we could spare from the supply of our humble wardrobe and our little casual expenses, he directed us to put into the savings’–bank; saying, we knew not how soon we might be dependent on that alone for support: for he felt he had not long to be with us, and what would become of our mother and us when he was gone, God only knew!
Dear papa! if he had troubled himself less about the afflictions that threatened us in case of his death, I am convinced that dreaded event would not have taken place so soon. My mother would never suffer him to ponder on the subject if she could help it.
‘Oh, Richard!’ exclaimed she, on one occasion, ‘if you would but dismiss such gloomy subjects from your mind, you would live as long as any of us; at least you would live to see the girls married, and yourself a happy grandfather, with a canty old dame for your companion.’
My mother laughed, and so did my father: but his laugh soon perished in a dreary sigh.
‘THEY married—poor penniless things!’ said he; ‘who will take them I wonder!’
‘Why, nobody shall that isn’t thankful for them. Wasn’t I penniless when you took me? and you PRETENDED, at least, to be vastly pleased with your acquisition. But it’s no matter whether they get married or not: we can devise a thousand honest ways of making a livelihood. And I wonder, Richard, you can think of bothering your head about our POVERTY in case of your death; as if THAT would be anything compared with the calamity of losing you—an affliction that you well know would swallow up all others, and which you ought to do your utmost to preserve us from: and there is nothing like a cheerful mind for keeping the body in health.’
‘I know, Alice, it is wrong to keep repining as I do, but I cannot help it: you must bear with me.’
‘I WON’T bear with you, if I can alter you,’ replied my mother: but the harshness of her words was undone by the earnest affection of her tone and pleasant smile, that made my father smile again, less sadly and less transiently than was his wont.
‘Mamma,’ said I, as soon as I could find an opportunity of speaking with her alone, ‘my money is but little, and cannot last long; if I could increase it, it would lessen papa’s anxiety, on one subject at least. I cannot draw like Mary, and so the best thing I could do would be to look out for another situation.’
‘And so you would actually try again, Agnes?’
‘Decidedly, I would.’
‘Why, my dear, I should have thought you had had enough of it.’
‘I know,’ said I, ‘everybody is not like Mr. and Mrs. Bloomfield—’
‘Some are worse,’ interrupted my mother.
‘But not many, I think,’ replied I, ‘and I’m sure all children are not like theirs; for I and Mary were not: we always did as you bid us, didn’t we?’
‘Generally: but then, I did not spoil you; and you were not perfect angels after all: Mary had a fund of quiet obstinacy, and you were somewhat faulty in regard to temper; but you were very good children on the whole.’
‘I know I was sulky sometimes, and I should have been glad to see these children sulky sometimes too; for then I could have understood them: but they never were, for they COULD not be offended, nor hurt, nor ashamed: they could not be unhappy in any way, except when they were in a passion.’
‘Well, if they COULD not, it was not their fault: you cannot expect stone to be as pliable as clay.’
‘No, but still it is very unpleasant to live with such unimpressible, incomprehensible creatures. You cannot love them; and if you could, your love would be utterly thrown away: they could neither return it, nor value, nor understand it. But, however, even if I should stumble on such a family again, which is quite unlikely, I have all this experience to begin with, and I should manage better another time; and the end and aim of this preamble is, let me try again.’
‘Well, my girl, you are not easily discouraged, I see: I am glad of that. But, let me tell you, you are a good deal paler and thinner than when you first left home; and we cannot have you undermining your health to hoard up money either for yourself or others.’
‘Mary tells me I am changed too; and I don’t much wonder at it, for I was in a constant state of agitation and anxiety all day long: but next time I am determined to take things coolly.’
After some further discussion, my mother promised once more to assist me, provided I would wait and be patient; and I left her to broach the matter to my father, when and how she deemed it most advisable: never doubting her ability to obtain his consent. Meantime, I searched, with great interest, the advertising columns of the newspapers, and wrote answers to every ‘Wanted a Governess’ that appeared at all eligible; but all my letters, as well as the replies, when I got any, were dutifully shown to my mother; and she, to my chagrin, made me reject the situations one after another: these were low people, these were too exacting in their demands, and these too niggardly in their remuneration.
‘Your talents are not such as every poor clergyman’s daughter possesses, Agnes,’ she would say, ‘and you must not throw them away. Remember, you promised to be patient: there is no need of hurry: you have plenty of time before you, and may have many chances yet.’
At length, she advised me to put an advertisement, myself, in the paper, stating my qualifications, &c.
‘Music, singing, drawing, French, Latin, and German,’ said she, ‘are no mean assemblage: many will be glad to have so much in one instructor; and this time, you shall try your fortune in a somewhat higher family in that of some genuine, thoroughbred gentleman; for such are far more likely to treat you with proper respect and consideration than those purse–proud tradespeople and arrogant upstarts. I have known several among the higher ranks who treated their governesses quite as one of the family; though some, I allow, are as insolent and exacting as any one else can be: for there are bad and good in all classes.’
The advertisement was quickly written and despatched. Of the two parties who answered it, but one would consent to give me fifty pounds, the sum my mother bade me name as the salary I should require; and here, I hesitated about engaging myself, as I feared the children would be too old, and their parents would require some one more showy, or more experienced, if not more accomplished than I. But my mother dissuaded me from declining it on that account: I should do vastly well, she said, if I would only throw aside my diffidence, and acquire a little more confidence in myself. I was just to give a plain, true statement of my acquirements and qualifications, and name what stipulations I chose to make, and then await the result. The only stipulation I ventured to propose, was that I might be allowed two months’ holidays during the year to visit my friends, at Midsummer and Christmas. The unknown lady, in her reply, made no objection to this, and stated that, as to my acquirements, she had no doubt I should be able to give satisfaction; but in the engagement of governesses she considered those things as but subordinate points; as being situated in the neighbourhood of O—–, she could get masters to supply any deficiencies in that respect: but, in her opinion, next to unimpeachable morality, a mild and cheerful temper and obliging disposition were the most essential requisities.
My mother did not relish this at all, and now made many objections to my accepting the situation; in which my sister warmly supported her: but, unwilling to be balked again, I overruled them all; and, having first obtained the consent of my father (who had, a short time previously, been apprised of these transactions), I wrote a most obliging epistle to my unknown correspondent, and, finally, the bargain was concluded.
It was decreed that on the last day of January I was to enter upon my new office as governess in the family of Mr. Murray, of Horton Lodge, near O—–, about seventy miles from our village: a formidable distance to me, as I had never been above twenty miles from home in all the course of my twenty years’ sojourn on earth; and as, moreover, every individual in that family and in the neighbourhood was utterly unknown to myself and all my acquaintances. But this rendered it only the more piquant to me. I had now, in some measure, got rid of the mauvaise honte that had formerly oppressed me so much; there was a pleasing excitement in the idea of entering these unknown regions, and making my way alone among its strange inhabitants. I now flattered myself I was going to see something in the world: Mr. Murray’s residence was near a large town, and not in a manufacturing district, where the people had nothing to do but to make money; his rank from what I could gather, appeared to be higher than that of Mr. Bloomfield; and, doubtless, he was one of those genuine thoroughbred gentry my mother spoke of, who would treat his governess with due consideration as a respectable well–educated lady, the instructor and guide of his children, and not a mere upper servant. Then, my pupils being older, would be more rational, more teachable, and less troublesome than the last; they would be less confined to the schoolroom, and not require that constant labour and incessant watching; and, finally, bright visions mingled with my hopes, with which the care of children and the mere duties of a governess had little or nothing to do. Thus, the reader will see that I had no claim to be regarded as a martyr to filial piety, going forth to sacrifice peace and liberty for the sole purpose of laying up stores for the comfort and support of my parents: though certainly the comfort of my father, and the future support of my mother, had a large share in my calculations; and fifty pounds appeared to me no ordinary sum. I must have decent clothes becoming my station; I must, it seemed, put out my washing, and also pay for my four annual journeys between Horton Lodge and home; but with strict attention to economy, surely twenty pounds, or little more, would cover those expenses, and then there would be thirty for the bank, or little less: what a valuable addition to our stock! Oh, I must struggle to keep this situation, whatever it might be! both for my own honour among my friends and for the solid services I might render them by my continuance there.
背景和作者介紹
這段摘錄來自一部19世紀的經典小說，探討了家庭責任、個人成長，以及年輕女性透過工作尋求獨立時所面臨的挑戰。故事背景設定在社會階級和經濟保障是主要關注點的時代，尤其對於機會有限的女性而言。作者是一位敏銳的維多利亞時代觀察家，她透過主角的經歷，突顯了那個時代女性的掙扎和韌性。敘述的語氣親切而反思，邀請讀者與角色的希望和恐懼產生共鳴。
詳細故事分析和意義
這段描述了一位年輕女性在經歷一段艱難時期後回到家，她努力在經濟上支持家人，並決心尋找一份新的家庭教師工作。它揭示了她所面臨的情感和實際挑戰：父親的健康狀況惡化、家人的經濟憂慮，以及社會對她的期望。這個故事捕捉了責任與個人抱負之間的緊張關係，以及堅持和自信的重要性。
家庭教師的角色在這裡是核心，象徵著女性的一種體面的職業和通往獨立的道路。主角與母親和妹妹的互動，展現了家庭支持和關懷的動態。母親堅持耐心和謹慎，與女兒渴望行動形成對比，說明了在逆境中不同的應對策略。
給學生的教訓和見解
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韌性和毅力
主角的旅程教導學生韌性的價值。儘管遇到挫折和煩惱，她仍然努力改善並拒絕放棄她的目標。這對於面臨自身挑戰的年輕讀者來說，是一個強有力的例子。 -
家庭與責任
這個故事突出了家庭支持的重要性，以及我們對親人的責任。它鼓勵學生欣賞他們的家人，並理解父母所做的犧牲。 -
自信與成長
主角學會克服她的害羞和自我懷疑，對自己的能力充滿信心。這強調了相信自己和擁抱新機會的重要性，即使它們看起來令人畏懼。 -
謹慎與耐心
透過母親的建議，學生們了解到耐心和周密的計劃至關重要，尤其是在做出重要的人生決定時。平衡抱負與智慧是關鍵的啟示。
在日常生活中實際應用
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在學習中：
學生們可以將主角對學習和自我提升的投入應用到他們自己的學術追求中。即使進展緩慢，持續的努力也會帶來成長。 -
在社交場合：
這個故事鼓勵在家庭和友誼中保持友善、理解和支持。它也表明了堅守自己的價值觀，同時傾聽他人的建議的重要性。 -
在個人發展中：
年輕的讀者可以受到啟發，去面對恐懼，嘗試新事物，並培養有助於他們變得獨立和自力更生的技能。
從故事中培養積極的特質
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同理心：
理解他人的掙扎，就像主角的家人一樣，有助於建立同理心。 -
勇氣：
承擔一份遠離家鄉的新工作，展現了勇氣，學生可以透過走出舒適區來培養這種特質。 -
樂觀：
儘管遇到困難，保持樂觀的態度，正如母親的樂觀建議所鼓勵的那樣，有助於身心健康。 -
勤奮：
仔細儲蓄和持續尋找工作，表明了努力工作和財務責任的重要性。
結論
這個故事不僅僅是一個歷史敘事，它是一個關於勇氣、希望和家庭力量的永恆的教訓。閱讀此書的學生可以深入了解人類精神承受和茁壯成長的能力。透過反思主角的經歷，年輕的讀者可以找到靈感，以決心和優雅面對自己的挑戰，為他們成功和充實的生活做好準備。
